An Original Short Story– “Haystack Harry”

Hey folks!  Happy Halloween Week!  Hope the pumpkins are carved and candy bins resupplied, because the little ghosts, goblins, superheroes and Disney Princesses will all be making their rounds very soon.   It’s not wise to disappoint.   As the old saying says– “Trick or Treat!”  I find treat wrappers a lot easier to clean up the next morning than dried up trick leavings.

Speaking of Halloween and the Autumn Season, what do October, fall harvest time, sweet potatoes, Missouri Mules, old wagons, hay bales, cornfields, crows and a scary character in a dilapidated old barn all have in common?  They’re all featured in a new, original short story, of course.  It’s entitled “Haystack Harry” and appears under the “Free Reads” heading at the top of the page.  Is it scary?  Is it not?  You’ll have to read to find out for yourself.  Here’s a little bit to get you started.

“Sunday. Thinking back, yes, I believe it was a Sunday. An exceptionally warm day as I recall now. Maybe even a little hot for an early October morning on my Uncle Coley’s farm outside McKittrick, Missouri.

“I had traveled out to the country that morning with my parents to visit and look for a Halloween pumpkin, and we were not surprisingly recruited into digging sweet potatoes from the field and storing them in the root cellar. “Gotta beat Ol’ Jack Frost!” he barked while bringing the mules up to hitch. It seems Uncle Coley always had a “helping out” chore to “lend a hand” on when visiting.”

Here’s a quick link to read the rest of the story →  “Haystack Harry” Short Story.

“Haystack Harry” is a farm and country story for all ages.   Please feel free to read to little ones, and pass along to share with others.   Hope you enjoy the story.

Thanks as always for the visit and reading! — Jim

"Crows in Cornfield"-- Artwork by Teresa Tanner,  Landscape Artist

“Crows in Cornfield”– Artwork by Teresa Tanner, Landscape Artist

‘Twas the Seventieth Night Before Christmas . . . . . . .

‘Twas the Seventieth night before Christmas, and all thru the house, not a creature was stirring. Because it was five minutes after midnight on October the 15th and I had just gone to bed. But maybe not so fast . . . . . . .

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It’s a little early to be talking about Christmas already, but folks, I got in trouble with the Big Guy last night. I should have known what was coming but wasn’t paying attention to the date. Every year on October 15th I get a call. Five minutes after midnight this time. Earliest ever. No sooner had I switched my light off to turn in for the night the phone rang. A direct call from the Big Guy. Yep. That one. Santa Claus. Knew I was in trouble the moment I saw the display on the phone—“North Pole Hotline”.

By calling at that hour Santa was purposefully demonstrating that he was burning the midnight oil, still busy at work and wondering why I wasn’t doing the same. We have a working relationship that goes way back, Santa and I, and to be honest I get that call from him on this day every year, with Santa checking in to see how my production is coming along on his orders for the upcoming holidays. Just never in the wee hours of the morning, and usually I’m not this far behind so the conversation goes a little better.

“I’ve been going over my mid-month status reports, and the open and received orders book here Jim, and notice that I have not received a single thing I ordered from you yet. Now, I placed those orders back in March before I left for my annual beach vacation. There’s only 70 days left until Christmas and it’s going to be here before you think. Is there a problem?  I also have new orders for you.  You know how we all look forward to your teddy bears and things every year. Are you going to be able to fulfill these orders or should I look elsewhere? It’s been quite a while since you’ve been on my Naughty List. We don’t want that now, do we?”

Santa Claus with the Naughty and Nice Books

Santa Claus with the Naughty and Nice Books

Santa is many things—a master craftsman, innovator, expert sleigh and reindeer handler, navigator extraordinaire, Elf coordinator, cookie connoisseur, bringer of good will and cheer, youth motivator and positive reinforcement master, and the list goes on. Quite an accomplished fellow. An unheralded ability that should be recognized is his mastery of delegation and follow-up. Not many orders or items slip thru the cracks on his watch. And if they do, Santa and we all have Mrs. Claus to answer to, the real “Power Behind the Sleigh” if you will. Accordingly, Santa makes it a high priority to stay on top of things, and last night it was my turn to report in and be held to account.

He noted that I had sold three jewelry pendants in the last 24 hours from my store, indicating a noticeable uptick in activity and a clear sign that the holiday busy season might be getting underway. He also reminded me in no uncertain terms that, according to his morning flash reports, my store indicated a “Low Inventory Status” for gift seekers he referred, and again that none of his personal Sleigh Delivery orders had been filled yet and wanted to know why, and what was I going to do about it?  And would I be able to handle additional new orders?

Santa Claus Reviewing Records and Accounts

Santa Claus Reviewing Records and Accounts

One thing you need to know about Santa Claus. Twinkling eyes, dimples how merry, cheeks like roses, nose like a cherry—yes indeed, that’s all spot on. But when it comes to the business side, he gets right down to it in true executive fashion. He asks pointed, direct questions, doesn’t accept any hem-hawing around and cuts right thru the mistletoe! And he carries the threat of that “Naughty Boys List” around in his back pocket like a Cherokee War Club. Santa is all business when it comes to his orders and running a tight ship at the North Pole.

Santa Claus- Performance Evaluation Day

Santa Claus- Performance Evaluation Day

Now, having talked about Santa, one thing you need to know about me is that I live to make things in addition to writing, and have been making up new designs and creations for months- collector bears, accessories, pendant jewelry, a new line of bear and doll display chairs, and more. When it comes to photographing and listing it all online for my store, well, quite honestly, that’s where it all breaks down for me. Not being my favorite thing and being commonly human, I keep putting it off. My aching back and standing, bending and taking photos all day just don’t go well together it seems. But believe me, that is not an acceptable explanation to offer up to an elderly, overweight gentleman who spends a 24 hour shift scrambling up and down chimneys with a heavy sack, and bouncing around in a sleigh behind gassy reindeer for thousands of miles. Santa expects and works hard to keep everything coordinated, in order and on schedule.

Santa Claus- Planning, Scheduling and Coordination Meeting

Santa Claus- Planning, Scheduling and Coordination Meeting

And that’s why he was calling of course, to offer a firm reminder to put it in gear and get going myself. As I said, he knows me well from over the years, and gives me this kick in the britches about this time every holiday season. It was just a little harder kick this year. He knew the state of things here before he called. He knows and sees everything. When you’re sleeping, when you’re awake. Just like the song says. That’s why the phone was ringing before my light had lost its glow after turning it off last night. You couldn’t put anything over on the Big Guy if you tried, and really—why would you want to?

So, as he clearly reminded, it’s time for me to “Be good, not pout, not shout and get busy!” filling my store and his orders. And there is no way I want to disappoint him. If you see me a little less the next several weeks on Social Media and the like, please understand that I’m just busy on Santa’s orders and trying like the dickens to stay off his “Naughty Boys List”. And Mrs. C has already been after me about finishing Little Red Bear’s stories and getting them out, so I don’t want to go within a country mile of getting on her bad list. You know what I’m talking about.

Mrs. Claus- Angry- Don't Get On Her List!

Mrs. Claus- Angry- Don’t Get On Her List!

Off to work on Santa’s list and orders then. Lots of photos to take and more things to make so better get to it. “Hey, Little Red Bear! Better get some cookies going and put on the teapot. We’ve got some long nights ahead.”

Thanks as always for reading. – Jim (and Red!)

The Old Toy Maker Working Thru The Night

The Old Toy Maker Working Thru The Night. (An original solid wood Santa Claus carving by Deborah Call.)

Speaking of Dogs & Cats & Boomers

As a general rule, I endeavor to keep it on the light side here, and do not get actively involved in political discourse. Goodness knows there are already enough serious and worrisome issues and events in the world these days. On the other hand, I have a growing awareness of what I perceive to be a serious problem in this country. As such, I thought it important to bring it to the attention of the soon-to-be growing number of presidential hopefuls and candidates for the next presidential election. I say both “hopefuls” and “candidates”, because I am never quite sure if they are really one in the same and want to be certain to bring the issue to everyone’s attention, not leaving anyone out.

Here is the crux of the matter, to get right to it. I am a baby boomer, and there are a growing number of us reaching the years when we are empty nesters, and/or without spouses or companions for various and obvious reasons. In other words- alone. Aloneness is generally regarded to be unhealthy, thereby impacting the issues of medical care, mental health and associated social costs and issues.

To combat the isolation and solitude, many seek the solace and companionship of pets, primarily dogs and cats in vast numbers. Dogs and cats are excellent companions most of the time, providing sympathetic comfort, great for snuggling and warmth during cold winters (although not so much hot summers when they seem to have the curious urge to snuggle even more), they serve somewhat as alarms and guard dogs against intruders, many perform invaluable service assistance to the challenged and disabled, requiring walks and outings they aid in helping us to exercise and get fresh air, their own food and upkeep costs help to support the economy, etc. All good things.

That being said, here is the concern. All of the above listed benefits of having a dog or cat companion are “physical” or “emotional”. They do very little to stimulate the “mental” side for aging boomers, a very important thing in maintaining a fulfilling, vigorous and healthy lifestyle by challenging and maintaining an active brain as well as body. I have become increasingly aware that dogs and cats in general seem to be very unread and sorely lacking in knowledge of current events beyond issues of food availability and scheduling. They are frustratingly difficult to hold an intelligent conversation with. Great listeners, without question, but clearly deficient in conversation skills and a base of knowledge to draw from to foster insightful discourse and discussion. They don’t distinguish Dali or Degas from a dog dish, or Kipling or Kierkegaard from kibble.

"So, what you're saying is that it wasn't really a Chew Toy? Seemed like it."

“So, what you’re saying is that it wasn’t really a Chew Toy? Seemed like it.”

Indeed, most dogs mistakenly perceive books to be chew toys or pillows rather than tools of enlightenment. And it is we who have allowed this sad state to continue. It is a rather poor reflection on our species, that given our long and close relationship to dogs and cats over thousands of years we have allowed this matter to go unattended for so long, turning our backs on the educational and intellectual development of our dearest companions.  Some certainly seem to be sending us clear messages that they are at the very least interested in books and higher education.  We just have not gotten the message.  Until now.

Accordingly, it seems reasonable that the next group of folks aspiring to be President of our great land and all its people should address the issue of illiterate, uneducated and incommunicative pets, for the sake of not only the ever increasing number of lonely boomers but also for the long term benefits for all the citizenry. With the copious “pork” projects that Congress always seems able to generously fund without risk of government shutdown, I am sure it should be no problem achieving bipartisan support and finding adequate sums to fund Dog and Cat Literacy Research with concurrent studies in Household Pet Speech Therapy, given the proper leadership of the future President.

“O Day of days when we can read!  The reader and the book, either without the other is naught.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

In fairness to others, I readily admit that Chimpanzees and other primates would seem to have a leg up on dogs and cats as far as literacy and communication possibilities go, given the advances made earlier in sign language communication with Koko the Gorilla, among others. Along with Parrots and some other avian members perhaps, already given to outbursts of spontaneous, albeit limited speech, most frequently revolving around a desire for crackers. But the prime focus of this is to foster mentally stimulating pet discourse for the sake of aging baby boomers, and so few of us have Chimps, Gorillas or Parrots as pets in the home.  And quite honestly, the troubling images from the “Planet of the Apes” movies still haunt many, making it more difficult for an educational movement to gain traction for the primates, given the opposable thumbs and all.

Dolphins would also offer great promise, displaying consistently high intellect, but even fewer of us are able to keep large sea mammals as household pets. We own more dogs and cats to be sure. Regrettably, the others will have to wait their turn. In a democracy, numbers rule. However, I am confident that whatever scientific strides made in the field of Dog and Cat Literacy and Speech will also benefit the chimps, gorillas, parrots and dolphins down the road as well. And the whales, not to be left out, of course.  So there’s that.

Dog- Reading, Google 11

Doctor Dolittle spoke the language of the animals. It is now incumbent upon us to teach them ours. The time has come to educate the furry members of society. Dog and Cat Literacy.  Free Speech for Pets.  The time has come. For the benefit of baby boomers and their pets in the interest of an intelligent conversation, for goodness sake.

Thanks as always for visiting! —  Jim (and Red!)

"According to this book, I can't read. Why is that, human?"

“According to this book, I can’t read. Why is that?”

“The Adventures of Little Red Bear” Short Stories on Amazon.

About an Uncommonly Special Bear and His Friends.  For Young and Young-at-Heart!

Rusty’s Very First News Feature- The Gray Fox Interview

We are proud to publish Rusty’s first interview in the new Blog feature series today- “Rusty Behind the Scenes!”

As you may recall, Rusty the Red Squirrel, or “Rusty the Fairydiddle” as he has become known here, was recently hired as a Blog Assistant to provide special behind the scenes access for you while Little Red Bear and I finish his collection of short story adventures for release in the coming months. This is the first in a series of news articles, features and interviews Rusty will be doing. If you missed it, more information about Rusty himself is available a few posts below, when he was first introduced.

Rusty sat down for a chat the other day with one of the Gray Foxes from the “Ozarks Ostrich Crisis” story. Not sure everything went quite according to Rusty’s plan though. Having been raised in England, some of his assumptions about the backwoods critters here in the Ozarks Mountains may have been a little off. Here is a link to the full length interview text→  “The Gray Fox Interview”     Hope you enjoy it.

Gray Fox

Gray Fox

Rusty is hard at work now preparing for his next interview which, in all likelihood, may go a little more smoothly for him—“Buzz the Honeybee”. Watch for it soon.

Introducing the New Blog Assistant– Rusty the Fairydiddle!

Before making the big announcement, first just a little background.  We see movie stars on the screen acting out their prescribed roles- doctor, cowboy, scientist, soldier, pirate, spy, super hero, astronaut, etc. And while we know that is not their real job or role in life, it is still odd sometimes to see an actor who you always visualize as a trail-worn cowboy or dashing pirate from the movies, suddenly in the news playing in a tennis or golf tournament, or balancing the movie images with how they appear on a red carpet premier or talk show.

We were all discussing that while relaxing in front of the fireplace on a cold night some months ago, about how Johnny Depp is so different in person from his characters Captain Jack Sparrow or Willy Wonka, for example. And then that set us to thinking about our own upcoming stories. The “us” being Little Red Bear and myself, of course.

Word somehow got around this time last year that we were looking for a few different critters to play roles in the upcoming “Adventures of Little Red Bear” short story series, and now we have more birds, animals, bugs, plants, wildflowers, trees, fish and other assorted varmints running around wanting to be in the stories than we can shake two sticks at. Even a few determined backwoods, historical, farming and other human folks have shown up at the door wanting to be included in Red’s adventures. It’s amazing how word spreads. And a little overwhelming.

The sudden onslaught of potential story characters was compounded when the Ostriches caused that fuss and work shutdown in the beginning of the year. The Ostrich Strike set us weeks behind interviewing and meeting with potential characters, all while the line got even longer. If you’re new to these parts and missed out on what I’m talking about with the Ostriches and all, you can catch right up by reading the Ozarks Ostrich Crisis here. There’s a link at the top of the page, under “Short Works & Free Reads”. It’s free of course, just like it says.

And while the different critters and folks may play a role in Red’s stories, just as in the movies- they may not be appearing in the story “exactly” as they are in real life. So while Little Red Bear and I continue to meet with new story characters and finish off the first collection of Red’s adventures to be released for you soon, we thought you might like to meet a few of the upcoming characters ahead of time and have the opportunity to get to know and learn about them as they truly are, not their “play acting” story or “movie role” so to speak. And also for you to get in on some of the happenings and events as we get closer to the release of Little Red Bear’s first collection of adventures. A special “Behind the Scenes” look now and then.

But with Red and I both fully occupied with his stories and not having any more time available, we decided to look for a Blog Assistant to collect news, information and do the interviews for you. After weeks of recruiting and interviewing applicants we have made our selection, and now are pleased to introduce you to our new Blog Assistant—Rusty the Red Squirrel.

Rusty is an American Red Squirrel, Tamiasciurus hudsonicus to be precise. American Red Squirrels are a rusty reddish color with a white underbelly, and are a little smaller than the Grey Squirrels you see in your backyard. But a little larger than a chipmunk. They are also known as Pine Squirrels, North American Red Squirrels, Chickarees and Fairydiddles by some. Some folks confuse them with Douglas Squirrels which are found in the Pacific Northwest, but the Douglas Squirrels have a rusty colored underbelly. If you see a Red Squirrel and aren’t sure which it is, just ask them to roll over and it will be easy enough to tell the difference.

Red Squirrels are found all over North America. While traditionally they have inhabited conifer forests (pines, fir, spruce and cone-bearing trees and shrubs) with a diet somewhat specialized in the seeds of the conifer cones, they have recently been expanding their diet and range into hardwood forests as well. They seem to have a fondness for a variety of mushrooms, clipping and hanging them over tree branches to dry out in the sun to store for a later time. Very clever. Red Squirrels can even eat some mushroom varieties which are otherwise poisonous and deadly to humans. I won’t be asking Rusty for any mushroom recommendations or to help gather any for mealtimes.

Of the different names, I have always liked the name Chickaree the best, which arose in the early 1800’s and is kind of imitative of the Red Squirrel’s call, what they sound like. “Fairydiddle”, somewhat more common in the south, is the one Little Red Bear picked up on right away of course, the tease that he is sometimes. I’m sure Rusty will be hearing “Fairydiddle” rather frequently in the woods here now, as he is already becoming known in the area as “Rusty the Fairydiddle”, or as I have overheard some saying—“The Rusty Little Fairydiddle”.

New on the job and still getting acquainted, he’s being polite about it but I can tell by the occasional grimace it may not be his favorite choice of nickname. He’ll probably just have to get used to it though. Just about everybody in this neck of the woods has a nickname, or two, so he might be stuck with it. Personally, I’ve always been known as “Reverend Jim” by some and “capnstormalong” by others here, and I honestly have no idea what inspired either of them.  Well, maybe capnstormalong. Nonetheless, there it is. A nickname is the sign of acceptance in the backwoods here, unless it’s hurtful of course. And then it’s usually dealt with straight away and changed. Little Red Bear and other folks here like to playfully tease and have fun in a give-and-take kind of way.  It’s all harmless until someone’s feelings get hurt, and nobody likes that.

Rusty had an unusual childhood for a Red Squirrel. He was orphaned in an outbreak of violent early summer storms when he was just a pup (that’s what they call a baby squirrel, or a “kit” or “kitten” sometimes, too). Thankfully, he was rescued by wildlife workers but then inexplicably sent with his three sisters to England where he was taken in and raised by a good-hearted English woman living in Newcastle, in the Northumberland region. Over time and taking odd jobs, he worked his way back to the United States. So although Rusty is an American Red Squirrel thru and thru, he does speak at times with a slight British accent and flair, inherited I suppose from the kindly Mrs. Wilkinson. And Rusty brings with him a fervent love of tea and scones, which fits right in with the rest of us, oddly enough. You can view the video Rusty sent in with his application a few months ago, a May entry in the Blog here entitled “An Applicant for the New Blog Feature”. Just scroll down or click on the “May” link in the Blog Archives on the right to find it. By submitting the video, I thought he may have been trying to play up the “cuteness” angle a little in the beginning of the application process, but it was clearly his qualifications and skills which landed him the position in the end.

Rusty is indeed well qualified for the Blog Assistant position. After returning to the U.S., he decided to resume his education and audited many classes at the renowned Journalism School at the University of Missouri nearby, peering in and listening at the windows while taking voluminous notes, with majors in News Reporting, Watchdog Journalism and Field & Stream Broadcasting. After completing the University’s journalism program, he worked as an Investigative Reporter for the “Squirrelly World” newspaper, which is discussed in the Ostrich Stories if you would like to learn more. Of higher journalistic integrity and aspiring to do better, he left “Squirrelly World” to find more reputable employment, and we are delighted to give him the opportunity here on the Blog.

It will be Rusty’s job to scurry around the mountains, hollers, backwoods and neighboring farmlands here to uncover news stories, dig up interesting features for our readers, and to interview upcoming story characters. He’s very good at undercover, hole-and-corner sneaking about, as demonstrated by his extensive and stealthy reporting experience at “Squirrelly World”. He possesses a great deal of energy and enthusiasm, as you might expect from a squirrel, and is a very dedicated, determined and active little fellow. We are confident he will do a bang-up job for you.

“I endeavor to get the truthful facts of a story out with all the nutty, natty and nitty-gritty details; and want to help readers to get to know the actual critters, the real face and whiskers behind the story mask.”~ Rusty the Red Squirrel

So, Little Red Bear and I are very happy to introduce you to Rusty, the new Blog Assistant. Or “Rusty the Fairydiddle” it appears.

Watch for his first in a regular series of features entitled “Rusty Behind the Scenes” coming soon.

Thanks for reading! — Jim (and Red!)