Exterior construction on this new Blog Site is nearly finished after a great effort yesterday! TWO new rooms were added to facilitate better displays. And the view from the top is awesome! Construction equipment and materials are being packed up and removed from the site to make room for visitors soon.
Soon- but not quite yet. Here’s the deal. Little Red Bear and I have been fairly in agreement with our approach to decorating the interior of the blog. I have been trying to achieve a feeling of “Country Comfortable”, while Red has been leaning more towards a “Backwoods Bungalow” thing. Pretty similar, really. I mentioned the work I had put in earlier to come up with just the right “Country Front Yard Rust” color tones for the Blog Title. I really liked it. So did Red, of course.
But after finishing most of the exterior work late yesterday afternoon with only a few odds and ends finishing touches remaining, we invited our interior designer in for his final assessment and blessings. Mmmmm– didn’t go so well. Our interior designer’s name is Monsieur Henri Le Blanc à Plumes, a white peacock. And being a bird, he literally hit the ceiling. What is it with all these hyper-sensitive and over-reacting birds lately? First the ostriches and now Henri!
“Mon Dieu, mes amis! C’est scandaleux! What are you trying to do? Scare people away? “Country Comfortable”? “Backwoods Bungalow”? These are not even recognized design styles. “Country Clash” is more what you have here I think! “Backwoods Beast!” It is an abomination. Classic, Retro, Contemporary, Modern, High Tech, Minimalist, Elegant– these are accepted design styles. You have done none of them.
“Burlap on the windows? You call these “curtains”? These are not window coverings, they are feedsacks! What is this unused column for? It is taking up space. Why have you built if you are not going to use, I ask? Who was your designer– Attila the Swine? We must make use of theme and color. Artfully and skillfully blend them and allow them to rise to the occasion, like a fine soufflé. The interior design must be pleasing to the eyes. This is a design outrage. It is visual assault on the eyes!
“Why is the title already rusted? The title should scream out “newness” and deliver a message. Yours just looks decrepit and old. Rigamortis is already setting in. You want your new Blog Site to be alive! D’accord? Stand back. No–Get out! Leave, and let me do my work. I have so much to do. So much to do. You have left me no time. Why did you not call me sooner? But Henri will make it fabulous. The interior will be drop over dead for. You will love what I do for you, mes amis!
“Wait! Come back, my kitty cats, let me show you. I will take my inspiration from Mother Nature as you have so unsuccessfully tried with your unskilled approach. Rustic– yes. Comfortable– yes. But in a clean and open way, like the lavender fields in Provence. Oh, Provence– my sweet inspiration! Out! Out! I have so much to do to get ready for visitors! You will love what it is I do with the walls and design. Go busy yourself on the outside and leave me to work! Il sera magnifique!”
So Henri is busy at work inside, switching from the Pilcrow theme to Hemingway Rewritten, and providing the finishing decorative touches today. Hopefully the last day before we can open up for visitors. I don’t know if he can get it all finished in one day. Remains to be seen. But really, if you need someone for decorating help, who better than a strutting peacock?
James Milson - Writing & Things 